MicroSoft_and

From: http://arstechnica.com/security/news/2010/06/cyber-war-microsoft-a-weak-link-in-national-security.ars

Microsoft has vast resources, literally billions of dollars in cash,
or liquid assets reserves. Microsoft is an incredibly successful empire
built on the premise of market dominance with low-quality goods.
--- Richard A Clarke, former White House adviser

From: http://www.vnunet.com/vnunet/news/2189833/microsoft-claims-patents-linux

The company is no stranger to patent law disputes. From April 2004 through
to March 2007 the company paid $1.25bn to Sun Microsystems, $536m to Novell,
$440m to InterTrust, $60m to Burst.com, $6m to private inventor Carlos Amado,
$115m to z4 Technologies, $74m to Korean company P&IB, and most recently,
$1.52bn to Alcatel-Lucent over patents allegedly infringed by Microsoft's
software.

From: http://www.business2.com/b2/web/dumbest/2005/1/0,22933,,00.html

"Microsoft has had competitors in the past. It's a good thing we have
museums to document this stuff."
--- Bill Gates, in a talk at the Computer
History Museum in Mountain View, Calif.

From: http://news.com.com/2100-1016_3-5197411.html

The report also includes a memo written for Microsoft Chairman Bill
Gates by C++ General Manager Aaron Contorer in 1997 that describes one
of the reasons why he felt Microsoft's Windows operating system was
becoming a must-have product for client PC vendors.

Contorer wrote that end users stuck with Windows, despite the operating
system's shortcomings, based on the high costs of abandoning heavy
investments already made in APIs.

"The Windows API is so broad, so deep and so functional that most
ISVs (independent software vendors) would be crazy not to use it.
And it is so deeply embedded in the source code of many Windows apps
that there is a huge switching cost to using a different operating
system, instead," the e-mail reads.

"It is this switching cost that has given the customers the patience
to stick with Windows through all our mistakes, our buggy drivers,
our high TCO (total cost of ownership), our lack of a sexy vision, at
times, and many other difficulties," the e-mail said. "Customers
constantly evaluate other desktop platforms, (but) it would be so much
work to move over that they hope we just improve Windows rather than
force them to move."

The Contorer e-mail continues: "In short, without this exclusive
franchise, called the Windows API, we would have been dead a long time ago."

From: http://slashdot.org/articles/03/09/30/1459217.shtml?tid=185

Honestly, though, he is modest. The IBM Campus in Raleigh had a
career builder seminar once that he attended. He actually showed
a video where he was speaking at a small conference where Bill Gates
was in attendence.

On the video, someone made a comment about Ctrl-Alt-Del being a life
saver as an easy way to reboot systems after a crash (back when the
blue screen stayed up by default). His response was "I just coded
the Ctrl-Alt-Del sequence. Bill Gates made it famous." The implication
wasn't intentional, but the look on Bill's face was priceless.

From: http://www.zdnet.com.au/newstech/security/story/0,2000048600,20277185,00.htm

Microsoft emphasised that products such as Yukon and Exchange
Server were undergoing thorough testing -- both internally and
via independent third parties -- prior to their release to the market.

From: Programming the Windows Driver Model

To succeed at driver writing, you will need to understand the C programming
language very well because WDM drivers are written in C. You'll also need
to be exceptionally able to tolerate ambiguity and to reverse-engineer
portions of the operating system because a good deal of trial and error in
the face of incompincomplete or inaccurate information is required.

From: Ken Barber

"Five minutes after any agreement is signed with Microsoft,
they'll be thinking of how to violate the agreement. They're
predators. They crush their competition. They crush new ideas.
They stifle innovation. That's what they do."

--- Thomas F. Reilly, Massachusetts Attorney General

From: http://slashdot.org/articles/02/11/25/1551251.shtml?tid=106

Bill Gates: Innovation
Inigo Montoya: You keep using that word. I do not think it means what
you think it means.

Inigo Montoya: My name is Inigo Montoya, you put windows on my computer,
prepare to die.

From: http://www.cw360.com/bin/bladerunner?REQUNIQ=1031332277&REQSESS=d16P41&REQHOST=site1&REQAUTH=2321985&2131REQEVENT=&CARTI=115571&CCAT=1&CCHAN=13&CFLAV=1

Brian Valentine, senior vice-president in charge of Microsoft's Windows
development, has made a grim admission to the Microsoft Windows Server
.net developer conference in Seattle, USA.

"I'm not proud," he told delegates yesterday (5 September). "We really
haven't done everything we could to protect our customers. Our products
just aren't engineered for security," admitted Valentine, who since 1998
has headed Microsoft's Windows division.

From: Stefaans Mostert

No Microsoft products were used or employees harmed
In creating this e-mail.

From: Scott Courtney

I don't mind Microsoft making money. I mind
them having a bad operating system.

From: http://www.microsoft.com/education/?id=DonatedComputers

It is a legal requirement that pre-installed operating systems
remain with a machine for the life of the machine.

From: www.nytimes.com/2002/04/08/technology/ebusiness/08SOFT.html

Geeks like learning new things, and when they pop out at
the end of the process they're entirely brainwashed.

From: apnews.excite.com/article/20020409/D7IPGRJ82.html

I will note that Microsoft sounds a little schizophrenic.

From: http://slashdot.org/articles/02/04/08/2037203.shtml?tid=130

The operating system perpetually at risk is Windows, which is a
single vendor solution and stands and falls with Microsoft. When
Microsoft abandons Windows, there won't be any more. If you want
to know what the future of Windows holds, just look at VMS.

From: http://support.microsoft.com/default.aspx?scid=kb;en-us;Q228990

The information in this article applies to:
...
* Microsoft Encarta Encyclopedia 2000
* Microsoft Flight Simulator 2000
* Microsoft Golf 2001 Edition
* Microsoft Train Simulator, version 1.0

SYMPTOMS

When you attempt to start one of the programs listed at the beginning of
this article, you may experience one of the following symptoms while the

"Loading... Please wait while the program name CD is verified" message
is displayed on the screen:

* The program may stop responding (hang) or seem to hang.
* You may receive one of the following error messages:
* Clokspl caused an invalid page fault in module Clokspl.exe.
* caused an invalid page fault in module .icd
* Failed to verify Media. Installation cancelled
* caused an invalid page fault in module dplayerx.dll

CAUSE
This behavior can occur if either of the following conditions are true:
...
* You are not logged on to the computer as an Administrator.

RESOLUTION
...

* If you are using Windows NT, Windows 2000, or Windows XP please log
off the computer, and then log on to the computer as a user with
Administrator rights.
...

Last Modifed Mar 20 2002 2:15PM

From: http://www.theregister.co.uk/content/archive/10936.html

"i simply do not want to spend my life in meetings struggling with
the internal issues, getting pissy mail from billg saying the portal
should be windows online so i can check my available bug fixes 10x
a day, or hearing from people who want time to do unnatural and
losing things to do to protect windows."

--- Brad Silverberg, former M$ executive.

From: Alan Batie

If Windoze is the answer, can we please have the problem back?

--- Found on slashdot (figures ;-) )...

From: http://www.microsoft.com/winlogo/hardware/windowsxp-hw.asp

Systems and devices must meet the following basic
requirements for the "Designed for Windows XP" logo:

WL-5. System and components meet reduced legacy support goals

From: http://zdnet.com.com/2100-1104-847303.html

What we have done with PCs so far is not natural.

From: http://zdnet.com.com/2100-1104-847303.html

"Rather than form a federation with Microsoft and work with what
we had already created, there was this notion that the world
should be offered an alternative,"
--- Craig Mundie explaining why there

should be no alternatives to MicroSoft's vision

From: http://www.cnn.com/2002/TECH/internet/02/20/ie.browser.problems.idg/index.html

"This issue does not pose a security threat to users. This issue
affects stability. Normal operation can be restored by restarting
IE," Microsoft said in a statement Friday.

[One wonders what the define as "normal"]

From: www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A40495-2002Feb20.html

Microsoft's new version of its popular Media Player software
is logging the songs and movies that customers play.

The company said Wednesday it was changing its privacy statement
to notify customers about the technology after inquiries from
The Associated Press.

From: http://www.theregister.co.uk/content/4/23700.html

However, asking the average user to solve an Internet Explorer
privacy leak by manually changing settings in a different program
seems a bit much to me. Espcially considering that there are
many people who have never run Windows Media Player, yet they
are stull vulnerable to the problem," Smith notes.

And indeed, the idea that a media application might be causing
a Web browser to leak data in spite of its own security settings
would be counter-intuitive to the casual user or computing newbie.

It's only after we've become familiar with Microsoft's habits in
security engineering that such a thing begins to make perfect sense.

From: http://www.theregister.co.uk/content/4/23715.html

Privacy: Users should be in control of how their data is used.
Policies for information use should be clear to the user. Users
should be in control of when and if they receive information to
make best use of their time. It should be easy for users to specify
appropriate use of their information including controlling the use
of email they send.

From: www.miami.com/herald/special/features/barry/2002/docs/jan06.htm

Every year or so, Microsoft comes out with a new version, which
Microsoft always swears is better and more reliable, and I always
buy it. I bought Windows 2.0, Windows 3.0, Windows 3.1415926,
Windows 95, Windows 98, Windows ME, Windows RSVP, The Best of Windows,
Windows Strikes Back, Windows Does Dallas, and Windows Let's All Buy
Bill Gates a House the Size of Vermont.

My computers keep having seizures, but I keep buying Windows versions,
hoping I'll get lucky. I'm like the loser in the nightclub who keeps
hitting on the hot babe. His shoes are squishing from the piña colada
she poured on him, but he's thinking: ``She's warming up to me!''

From: CRN, Dec 24-31, 2001, page 38

IDC estimates that 73 million businesses and consumers
will migrate to Windows XP in 2002.

Every time your customers upgrade to Windows XP-Professional,
you have an opportunity to sell more. More memory. More
storage. More systems. More software. More services and support.

From: www.salon.com/tech/feature/2001/11/15/xbox/index.html:

With two possible exceptions, the Xbox and its premiere list of
games are undistinguished, undifferentiated and inoffensive --
and consciously tooled to be exactly all those things. The Xbox
is, in effect, the Internet Explorer of game consoles.

From: http://www.microsoft.com/technet/treeview/default.asp?url=/technet/columns/security/noarch.asp

At the end of the day, a vendor's paramount responsibility is to its
customers, not to a self-described security community. If openly
addressing vulnerabilities inevitably leads to those vulnerabilities
being exploited, vendors will have no choice but to find other ways
to protect their customers.

[Note: Read the entire article to check on context.]

From: www.zdnet.com/zdnn/stories/comment/0,5859,2824251,00.html

Each time Microsoft releases an operating system they crow
about how extensive the testing was and how secure it is,
and every time it contains more security vulnerabilities
than the previous operating system. I don't believe this
trend will reverse itself anytime soon.

--- Bruce Schneier

From: http://www.infoworld.com/articles/tc/xml/01/10/29/011029tcwinxp.xml

Granted, it appears that for light-duty service on the newest hardware,
Windows XP with Office XP is an acceptable choice -- if an 11 percent
performance hit, or 53 minutes added to an 8-hour day, is acceptable.
But beware of this combination in more demanding environments, whether
the workload is greater or the equipment is older.

From: www.crn.com

The big innovation of [Window's] XP is that it has a back door
that sucks out all your proprietary information and presents it
to Microsoft to sell it back to you or any retailer. That's the
big innovation in XP - a back door. By the way, it still runs
all your favorite viruses.

--- Scott McNealy, CEO of Sun Microsystems

From: http://www.infoworld.com/articles/op/xml/01/09/17/010917opfoster.xml

"You may not use the Software in connection with any site that
disparages Microsoft, MSN, MSNBC, Expedia, or their products or
services ..."
--- EULA for M$ FrontPage 2002

From: linuxtoday.com/news_story.php3?ltsn=2001-08-23-014-20-NW-MS

"Open Source Code"
Customers want to have some influence over the direction of
their computing platform. The lack of a single owner and
well-known decision making process for open source software
makes it difficult for customers to influence or guide the
direction of features. There is no certainty that in the long
term Open Source Software will evolve to meet the changing
needs of the customer and the marketplace.

From: LA Times

[ Was at www.latimes.com/business/la-082301micro.story, now gone ]

Minnesota Atty. Gen. Mike Hatch said he got about 300 of those.
"It's sleazy," he said. "This is not a company that appears to
be bothered by ethical boundaries."

From: http://www.netfunny.com/rhf/jokes/01/Aug/oneline.html

"Hello, and thank you for calling MicroSoft technical support. May I
ask what version of Code Red your server is runnung?"

From: http://support.microsoft.com/support/kb/articles/q276/3/04.ASP

Your password must be at least 18770 characters and cannot repeat any
of your previous 30689 passwords. Please type a different password.
Type a password that meets these requirements in both text boxes.

--- MicroSoft error message

From: http://www.microsoft.com/presspass/exec/craig/05-03sharedsource.asp

This effectively makes it impossible for commercial software companies to
include source code that is licensed under the GPL into their products,
since by doing so, they are constrained to give away the fruits of their labor.

From: http://www.microsoft.com/presspass/exec/craig/05-03sharedsource.asp

A common trait of many of the companies that failed is that they gave
away for free or at a loss the very thing they produced that was of
greatest value - in the hope that somehow they'd make money selling
something else.

From: http://www.microsoft.com/presspass/exec/craig/05-03sharedsource.asp

As a result of Microsoft's statement of position today, many people will
attempt to say that Shared Source is Microsoft's failed attempt at being
an Open Source Company. This could not be a more incorrect statement.
Shared Source is not Open Source.

From: Nicolai Leon Moser
Subject: What they say vs. what they mean

When Microsoft says "Where do you want to go today?" they really mean
"Let us take you for a ride."

From: http://www.passport.net/Consumer/TermsOfUse.asp

LICENSE TO MICROSOFT

By posting messages [...] and you are granting Microsoft and its
affiliated companies permission to:

1. Use, modify, copy, distribute, transmit, publicly display, publicly
perform, reproduce, publish, sublicense, create derivative works from,
transfer, or sell any such communication.

2. Sublicense to third parties the unrestricted right to exercise any
of the foregoing rights granted with respect to the communication.

3. Publish your name in connection with any such communication.

The foregoing grants shall include the right to exploit any proprietary
rights in such communication, including but not limited to rights under
copyright, trademark, service mark or patent laws under any relevant
jurisdiction. No compensation will be paid with respect to Microsoft's
use of the materials contained within such communication. [...]

From: eetimes.com/story/OEG20010330S0031

We wouldn't want to ship something that doesn't work...

From: MicroSoft

Q: Will the virus impact my Macintosh if I am
using a non-Microsoft e-mail program, such
as Eudora?
A: If you are using a Macintosh e-mail program
that is not from Microsoft, we recommend
checking with that particular company.
But most likely other e-mail programs like
Eudora are not designed to enable virus replication.

From: "Kevin Willoughby"

I don't like the Government telling Microsoft to make their software
even worse by preventing them from integrating features into the
operating system. I also don't like the notion of user interfaces
designed by the Justice Department.

--- Jakob Nielsen

From: Peter Gervai

"It was like a visit by Don Corleone. I expected to find
a bloody computer monitor in my bed the next day."

From: Julian Bordas

"Windows is yucky. It keeps breaking"

--- Edward Bordas Age 5

From: "S.G. Zijl"

windowsupdate.microsoft.com preferred me to download a critical
update package called linux

--- S.G. Zijl, 2000

From: Gary Oliver

"If Bill Gates had a nickel for every time Windows crashed....
Oh, wait, he does!"

From: ftp.sunet.se

Interesting photos at:
ftp://ftp.sunet.se/pub/pictures/fun/BILL.JPG

From: Doc Searls

You have performed an illegal operation and will be shut down.

From: John Denker

"When you touch somebody's Microsoft box, you make it unstable.
It was unstable before, too, but now it's your fault."

From: Simon Cozens

'We have the opportunity to make our products A LOT better',

--- Bill Gates on BBC2. 17/10/1999

From: Nik Weidenbacher

Don't be mad at MS for NT sucking. After all, it is their first OS.

From: Andreas Busse

>> Windws is ine for bckgroun comunicaions <<

From: Mike Delaney

"...Microsoft follows standards. In much the same manner that fish follow
migrating caribou." "Now I have this image in my mind of a fish embracing and
extending a caribou."

--- Paul Tomblin and Christian Bauernfeind in a.s.r

From: Ed & JK Kolar

Speed kills, therefore Windows users should live forever!

From: Mark Denholm

Whilst watching the idiot box yesterday, there was a show about some DNA
program being run. Bill Gates had invested $5 million into it, so they
interviewed him and he responded as such:

"We should be able to debug DNA the same way we debug software."

Be afraid.

From: Chris Linstruth

The Microsoft Exchange Information Store service depends on the
Microsoft Exchange Directory service which failed to start because
of the following error:
The operation completed successfully.

From: Devin L. Ganger

"Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to using Windows
NT for mission-critical applications."

--- What Yoda *meant* to say

From: Martin Hicks

"One World, one web, one program" - Microsoft Promo ad.
"Ein Volk, Ein Reich, Ein Fuhrer" - Adolf Hitler

From: Martin Bene

You have moved your mouse, please reboot to make this change take effect

From: "G. Del Merritt"

Yesterday it worked / Today it is not working / Windows is like that

From: Christopher Browne

"take USABLE from UNSTABLE and you get NT"

From: Michael Pelletier

"[It will] be very hard to increase browser share on the merits of
[Internet Explorer] alone. It will be more important to leverage
the OS asset to make people use IE instead of Navigator."

--- Christian Wildfeuer, a Microsoft Manager

From: Carl Jacobs

Security-wise, NT is a server with a "Kick me" sign taped to it.

--- Peter Gutmann in the Scary Devil Monastery

From: "Chris Adams"

"Windows NT was designed to be administered by an idiot and
usually is..."

From: Derek Balling

Bill Gates is a monocle and a white fluffy cat
from being a villain in the next Bond film.

--- Dennis Miller

From: Vinod Valloppillil

Linux represents a best-of-breed UNIX, that is trusted in mission
critical applications, and - due to it's open source code - has a
long term credibility which exceeds many other competitive OS's.

See: http://www.opensource.org/halloween/halloween2.html

From: Vinod Valloppillil

I previously had IE4/NT4 on the same box and by comparison the
combination of Linux / Navigator ran at least 30-40% faster
when rendering simple HTML + graphics.

See: http://www.opensource.org/halloween/halloween2.html

From: John C. Randolph

"Although UNIX is more reliable, NT may become more reliable with time"

Where is the line between mere incompetence and actual treason?

--- jcr

From: Derick Siddoway

"Microsoft is a cross between the Borg and the Ferengi. Unfortunately,
they use Borg to do their marketing and Ferengi to do their programming."

--- Simon Slavin in asr

From: Anthony Ord

IE brings the web to Unix...
isn't that like Ronald McDonald brings religion to the Pope?

--- Seen on Usenet

From: Doug LaRue

The idea that Bill Gates has appeared like a knight in shining armor to
lead all customers out of a mire of technological chaos neatly ignores
the fact that it was he, who by peddling second-rate technology, led them
into it in the first place.

From: Allen Brown

This just in. In Microcruft Word 97 type "I'd like to see Bill Gates
dead." and highlight it. Now ask for a synonym. It offers: "I'll
drink to that". Dissention in the ranks!

Use Shift-F7 to get the synonym.

[Note: Any phrase that starts with "I'd like ..." returns that synonym.

From: "Iain Brown"

In MicroSoft Word 97, highlight "unable to follow directions"
and hit Shift-F7.

I wonder what job longevity this wit has.

From: http://www.k4concepts.com/brthcard.htm

In MicroSoft Word 97, highlight "zzzz" and do a spelling check.

The page at http://www.k4concepts.com/brthcard.htm has a nice spell
checked poem.

From: Focus magazine

An interview with Bill Gates demonstrates that Microsoft software
has no bugs that they care about. See: http://www.cantrip.org/nobugs.html

From: Matthew D. Lammers

"On the other hand, O'Reilly's book about running W95 has a toad as the
cover animal. Makes sense; both have lots of warts and croak all the
time."

From: Toby Martin

"My current computer, in addition to 'DOS,' has 'Windows,' which is another
invention of Bill Gates, designed as a security measure to thwart those
users who are somehow able to get past 'DOS.'"

--- Dave Barry

From: Nix

`There's a price to be paid for selling your soul.'

--- Rajappa Iyer, on Microsoft

From: Jake Riddoch

"Windows has detected that a gnat has farted near your computer.
Press any key to reboot."

--- Simon Oke in the scary devil monastery

From: anonymous

In 1984 mainstream users were choosing VMS over UNIX. Ten years later
they are choosing Windows over UNIX. What part of that message aren't
you getting?

--- Tom Payne

From: Lupe Christoph

"In short, just as the Multics mentality of careful access controls
shows up throughout Unix, the cretinous CP/M mentality of uncontrolled
havoc shows up in DOS and all its mutant children."

--- Tom Christiansen

From: I.Dobbie

> [snip] Completely Evil(tm). [snip]
At last I have found out what Windows CE *really* stands for!

From: Raphael Ho

Now there is an even better way to ensure one corrupted data file
spreads to all other data files on the same network:-
we call it OLE 2.0

Newsflash: Apple fights back with OpenDoc

From: anonymous

"It's too late. Once they've smoked one marijuana
cigarette, they are lost to us forever."

--- Bill Gates, 1984

From: anonymous

"I believe OS/2 is destined to be the most important operating
system, and possibly program, of all time."

--- Bill Gates, 1987

From: John Dow

Sorry, Bill, my computer's logic's been better since I took the gates out

From: Jim Anderson

Lucifer designed MS-DOS to try men's souls.
Then he had a better idea...

From: Stephane Chatre

In a world without fences, who needs Gates???

From: "Ken C"

Windows 95, the most installed system in the world,
I know, I've done it 5 or 6 times myself.

From: Fri Jul 25 10:55:58 1997

Windows 95: n. 32 bit extensions and a graphical shell for a
16 bit patch to an 8 bit operating system originally coded for
a 4 bit microprocessor, written by a 2 bit company that can't
stand 1 bit of competition.

From: Merri Martin

[An interesting little factoid, making the rounds. 15 July 1997]

The choral background music for the recent Microsoft Internet Explorer TV
ads is the Confutatis Maledictis from Mozart's Requiem (Mass for the
dead). The words of the final blast of music that accompanies "Where do
you want to go today?" are "confutatis maledictis, flammis acribus
addictis..." which means "the damned and accursed are convicted to flames
of hell." Presumably this answers that question once and for all.

From: Gary J. Robinson

And the Dark Lord made Orcs in mockery of Elves, and Trolls in mockery
of Ents; and he made DOS in mockery of CP/M, and Windows in mockery of
Macs, and NT in mockery of Netware; and he made Excel in mockery of
VisiCalc, and Explorer in mockery of Navigator, and Word in mockery of
WordPerfect; and he made MSNetwork in mockery of America Online; and on
every side his foes fell reeling, defeated one by one as he crushed
them by sheer weight of numbers, his hosts darkening the plain; and in
the twilight years of the Second Millenium the Free Peoples of the West
said, Lo, let us face this pestilence and destroy it, lest he turn all
of Middle-Earth into a nest of foulness. And they forged the One OS,
and they called it Copland; and they gathered their allies, the IBM
Host and the Riders of Motorola, and they prepared for the final battle.

From: Gerben Vos

Perl: There's more than one way to do it.
Microsludge C++: There's only one way to do it, and we won't tell you which.

From: Allan Bonadio

"You have to understand," he said, "that Windows was written by
children. Some of the children were very bright, but most of them
could have used a lot more adult supervision."

From: Paul Hillman

MS-Windows: Proof that P.T. Barnum was correct.

From: Lawson English

Customer: "I'm running Windows '95."
Tech: "Yes."
Customer: "My computer isn't working now."
Tech: "Yes, you said that."

From: The Jester

Proof Windows is a Virus:
It is very widespread,
It eats up your disk space,
It slows down your computer,
It takes control over your computer,
It performs disk access at random times,
It displays silly messages on your screen,
It randomly crashes the computer

--- Vesselin

From: Rogier Wolff

Q: What's the difference between MicroSoft Windows and a virus?
A: Apart from the fact that virusses are supported by their authors,
use optimized, small code and usually perform well, none.

From: ted sone

... Difference between a virus & windows? Viruses never fail.

From: anonymous

"Windows isn't a virus, viruses do something"

---- Nowhere Man

From: Nils Rennebarth

>Sure it is nice, but there are still too many bugs.
>[...] every session it crashes at least 3 times for me.

Hmmm. Sounds like a perfect Windows emulation to me :-).

From: Mike Batchelor

"Supporting Windows is like buying a puppy. The dog only cost $100,
but we spent another $500 cleaning the carpet."

From: Arjan de Mes

Windows... from the 'people' who brought you... EDLIN

From: anonymous

Q: How do you stop Bill Gates from drowning?
A: Shoot him.

From: james samuel ison

"DOS Computers manufactured by companies such as IBM, Compaq, Tandy,
and millions of others are by far the most popular, with about 70
million machines in use wordwide. Macintosh fans, on the other hand,
may note that cockroaches are far more numerous than humans, and that
numbers alone do not denote a higher life form."

--- New York Times, November 26, 1991

From: Miquel van Smoorenburg

Why Windows '95 is code named "Chicago":
"Capone" Gates: You pay him, but alas...
You still get no protection.

From: Mark Steiger

HAL 9000: "Dave, put those Windows disks down...Dave...DAVE!"

From: Eric Berggren

"We are Microsoft.
UNIX is irrelevant.
OS/2 is irrelevant.
Openness is futile.
Prepare to be assimilated."

--- prs@turing.org

From: Kai Petzke

Advertisement by Microsoft in a well-known German magazine:
If you don't like our programmes, than make your own ones.
However, they expect you to use Microsoft products for this -:)

From: unknown

"Luckily for Microsoft, it's difficult to see a naked emperor
in the dark."

--- Ted Lewis, (former) editor-in-chief, IEEE Computer

From: Anselm Lingnau

In a sense Microsoft is sort of the McDonalds of the
computer industry.

--- Jeremy Reimer

From: william E Davidsen

Windows NT is a *great* program!
It's everything CP/M should have been all along.

From: Lee Essen

Just like the HAL 9000... (Which of course Clarke denies)
I-1 = H
B-1 = A
M-1 = L

Like Windows NT (WNT)
W-1 = V
N-1 = M
T-1 = S

From: Arne J. Ludwig

Gone are the good old days, when we were discussing whether mounting
a Windows NT machine was S&M or necrophilia.

From: Donal K. Fellows

"Windoze NT is to the Unix community what Compu$erve is to
the Internet"

From: Randy S. Welch

"MS-DOS is to computing as the black plague was to Europe" - NH

From: Brandon S. Allbery

"MSDOS didn't get as bad as it is overnight --
it took over ten years of careful development."

--- dmeggins@aix1.uottawa.ca

From: Christoph Guelicher

MS-DOS is the worst text adventure game I have ever played:
poor vocabulary, weak parser and a boring storyline.

From: David B. Thomas

Their address sums up their attitude: One Microsoft Way.

From: "Dr. Kirk Corey"

"Msdos? MSDOS? I've seen CALCULATORS with a better operating system!"

From: Arthur van der Harg

Fug - A program feature that would be considered a bug if it were not
deliberately programmed in.
To microsoft - To fug up.

From: Christopher Lott

The only reason Gates is still alive is because Ted Kaczynski wasn't ever
forced to use Microsoft products.

Other quotes