Peace faking | | Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone. |
Denial | | when we pretend there is peace between us and the other person when there really isn’t. |
Running away | | So if you are presenting a sacrifice at the altar in the Temple and you suddenly remember that someone has something against you, leave your sacrifice there at the altar. Go and be reconciled to that person. Then come and offer your sacrifice to God. |
Peace breaking | | Attack each other with harsh or cruel word when conflicts arise. This stirs up anger in the other person. |
Put down | | If you cannot solve the problem by talking with each other or by mediation, then you can both tell your side of the story to a person in authority who will decide on a solution. This could be a parent, teacher, school administrator, or pastor. |
Gossip | | Peace breaking is when we attack the other person by putting them down, gossiping, and even physical force to get our own way. |
Fight | | Avoiding each other, refusing to talk or look at each other |
Overlook an offense | | Use physical force to get our own way |
Talk it out | | Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them. |
Peace faking leads to | | Sensible people control their temper; they earn respect by overlooking wrongs. |
Blame Game | | Pretending the conflict does not exist, or refusing to do what we can do to work it out. |
Peace breaking leads to | | Talking about people behind their back in order to damage their reputation or to get others on our side. |
Peace making | | Going directly to the person to talk it out together. |
Romans 12:18 | | bitterness, resentment, and unforgiveness |
Matthew 5:23-24 | | This is not the same as denial! Forgiveness is the key here. |
Matthew 18:15 | | Peace Breaking leads to anger and hatred |
Proverbs 28:13 | | People who conceal their sins will not prosper, but if they confess and turn from them, they will receive mercy. |
Galatians 6:1-3 | | But if you are unsuccessful, take one or two others with you and go back again, so that everything you say may be confirmed by two or three witnesses. |
Proverbs 12:16 | | Instead of taking responsibility for our choices, we try to escape their consequence, shame, guilt by blaming others for the problem, pretending we did nothing wrong, covering up what we did, or lying about our contribution to a conflict. |
Proverbs 19:11 | | Dear brothers and sisters, if another believer is overcome by some sin, you who are godly should gently and humbly help that person back onto the right path. And be careful not to fall into the same temptation yourself. Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ. If you think you are too important to help someone, you are only fooling yourself. You are not that important. |
Colossians 3:13 | | Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. |
Get help to know what you would say (Coaching) | | Peace making is when we find constructive solutions to conflicts and help to preserve relationship. |
Proverbs 15:1 | | A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger |
Ephesians 4:29 | | When you are in difficult conflict, it is often wise to ask someone else (such as a parent, teacher, or friend) to help you decide how you can handle the conflict so it won’t get worse-at least from your side. This is called coaching. This is after you have tried to overlook the other person’s offense and talk it out. Be careful, this should not be done to gossip. |
Get help to talk together (Mediation): | | Starting a quarrel is like opening a floodgate, so stop before a dispute breaks out. |
Matthew 18:16 | | If your brother sins go and show him his fault in private; if he listens to you, you have won your brother. |
Get help to decide (Arbitration): | | When you cannot resolve the conflict just between the two of you, and then ask someone else to meet with both of you to help you talk together and find a solution to the problem. This is called mediation. If this continues to be unsuccessful, people involved in the conflict needs to carefully examine whether they are either trying to escape or attack instead of trying to work it out. |